All my years of chuckling at people's misfortune with their 360 consoles have come to a dramatic end. My precious Xbox 360 is no more. Well, at least for the next 4 to 6 weeks. It all started on Monday. I received Battlefield: Bad Company from GameFly.com and couldn't get beyond the first level. It wasn't because the game was immensely difficult, but because my console kept freezing during the cut scenes.
It was the first time my 360 had ever done anything of the sort, so I immediately blamed the game, reported a problem with GameFly, and sent it back.
But then it continued.
She was giving me problems last night when I wanted to play Madden. The game would freeze, lines would appear across my screen, and my controller would lock up. Eventually, I stood the console up vertically in an effort to provide her with more circulation.
Little did I know, that would be her last stand.
Early this afternoon, the vibrant green that once illuminated her face would leave her eyes for all eternity. And it would be replaced by nothing but Microsoft's demon red, blinking at me maliciously—taunting me, as if saying, "Love doesn't live here anymore."
After a series of about three re-boots and some miscellaneous troubleshooting tactics, I had to call the coroner at Microsoft.
My coffin will arrive in 3-to-5 business days.
What hurts most is that this 360 was purchased in January as a preemptive strike against the tyranny of faulty consoles! I had been a proud Xbox owner since March of 2007. The first was a used system I found on eBay. And she was also a trooper.
But as 2008 approached, she seemed to be losing some steam. She would make too much noise when I turned her on. That's not supposed to be a bad thing, but in the world of technology it's an omen of death.
Since I was only the adoptive father of that 360, I figured I'd sell her to Gamestop for $150, and use that towards a replacement console. A new, and improved console. An Xbox that weighed less, and had more places to insert cables.
Damn, it's really way too easy to make this thing sound sexual.
Anyway, the new Xbox had an input to support an HDMI cable. And most importantly, a new 65nm Falcon chip that was supposed to prevent this very system failure.
Don't I feel stupid now.
Thank the Lord for my sleek, precious Playstation 3 and copy of Madden NFL 09. Sony better release Home fast if they want to make me completely forget that I own a 360. Okay, you can continue